


Stars - N7 Month Day 20

by miceenscene



Series: N7 Month 2019 [16]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Mass Effect 3, both pre and post relationship, gratuitous Austen references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:27:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25630558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miceenscene/pseuds/miceenscene
Summary: "Someone caught my eye a long time ago, and I’m not going to be changing my mind anytime soon."
Relationships: Female Shepard & Garrus Vakarian, Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian
Series: N7 Month 2019 [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1533266
Comments: 6
Kudos: 82





	Stars - N7 Month Day 20

The _Normandy_ seemed to be holding its breath as they crossed the galaxy, every soul aboard knowing and fearing what waited for them on the other side of the relay. Garrus himself was no different. The temptation to spend the remaining night pacing the Main Battery and planning for every conceivable outcome was beguiling. But there was something that he wanted more. Or rather, some _one_ he wanted more. 

So he’d gathered up his courage and the bottle of wine he’d purchased over a year ago and made his way to the elevator. The low tapping of his boot was the only noise in the otherwise silent ride up to the top level.

The doors to the cabin opened automatically as Garrus approached, and his gut clenched as he laid eyes on Shepard. She was standing at her fish tank, one arm and her forehead pressed to the glass, eyes a million miles away. A moment too slow, she blinked and looked his way.

“Garrus,” she said, stepping away from the wall. Fatigue was written in her every subtle movement, who knew how long she’d just been standing there.

“Hey…” He grinned slightly and brandished the bottle. “I brought wine.”

She chuckled once, obviously catching his reference. “Best you could afford on a reaper advisor’s salary?”

“Yeah. So it should be pretty good.” He stepped closer, noticing the dark circles under her eyes now. He almost wished he hadn’t seen them. “Do you mind if I join you?”

She shook her head. “Not at all. Fish were getting boring to look at anyway.”

They moved to the couch, Shepard sitting down with a low sigh. As she stretched out her ever stiff shoulder, Garrus poured the wine into the glasses on the table. “How are you feeling?” he asked after he sat down perpendicular to her.

She ran a hand through her hair. “Oh, I tried sleeping for a while, but I gave up on that about an hour ago… or a few months ago, depending on how you count it.” It had the cadence of a joke, but it felt a little too close to the truth for Garrus to find it truly funny. “Any news from the Hierarchy?” she asked, sitting up a little straighter.

“Nothing new,” he quickly answered. He hadn’t come here to talk business, but admittedly broaching his intended topic was a bit more daunting than it seemed downstairs.

“How about your family? Were… were they on the Citadel?”

He hadn’t come here to talk about them either. “No, thank Spirits. They’re on Tuchanka last I heard.”

“Probably the safest place in the whole galaxy right now,” she replied, obviously trying to comfort him. 

“Yeah.” He just needed to go for it, or at least direct the conversation that way so they didn’t fall into their usual patterns. “I was thinking earlier about how odd it is that it always works out like this.”

She frowned. “What do you mean?”

“There’s always the wait before the end, the quiet before the storm,” he explained, handing her a glass before taking the other. “There was the night before Ilos and then… those few hours before Omega-4. And now… tonight.”

She swirled her glass and thought for a moment. “You’re right. Huh. Never noticed that before.” Her gaze turned his direction. “This is why I keep you around.”

“And for my good looks, of course,” he added.

That made a true smile cross her face, bright and so rare these days. “You are quite the looker,” she mused into her glass. Maybe it was just his imagination, but there didn’t seem to be quite enough of a joking tone in her voice. Either way, he let himself truly hope for the first time in over a year.

She held up her glass. “What should we toast to?”

“To… second chances.”

There was just enough of a shift in her expression that he knew she’d understood him. Still, she backed off, dropping his gaze and plastering a rueful grin across her face. “And thirds and fourths and fifth chances too.” The glasses clinked together, and he noticed that Shepard took a larger than usual swig. She blew out a breath and glanced his way, though she seemed to be paying unusual attention to the glass in her hand. “I’m… I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me too.”

Her jaw shifted, obviously she was debating something internally. Years of experience with her just made him calmly wait, it would be worth it. 

“Honestly, I, ah… I’m kind of surprised to be seeing you right now.”

He frowned slightly. “Really?”

“Yeah. I figured you’d… you’d be with Tali,” she finished quickly, as if ripping off a bandage.

His frown deepened. “Tali?” _What?_ “Why?”

Her free hand drifted up to rub at the back of her neck uneasily. “I… caught the end of a few conversations between you two recently,” she admitted slowly.

“And…?”

Her eyes lifted to his, widening as if she expected more of a response from him. Which just served to confuse him more.

“Do you really not know?” she asked, now matching his confusion.

“Apparently not.”

Her words came out slow, as if she was picking each one with extreme care. “She was _definitely_ flirting with you, Garrus.” 

His confusion turned abruptly to surprise. “Really?” Mentally, he ran through the last few conversations he remembered with Tali. Were there tells that he’d missed or ignored somehow?

“How did you not know?” she asked, the words bobbing with slight amusement. “It wasn’t subtle.”

“I don’t--! I had no idea--Spirits, I probably owe her an apology now.” He pressed the palm of his hand so his forehead.

“Probably.” She snickered quietly, but Garrus didn’t even bother trying to bring himself to mind. She was beautiful when she smiled--well, she was always beautiful, but she became resplendent when she smiled. Though there was enough of a bitter tint to her expression that he decided to fire a shot across the bow. It was time.

“Even--” He cleared his throat and started again. “Even if I had known her intentions, I would have turned her down.”

She looked at him, a guarded expression appearing on her face. “You would?”

He nodded. “Tali’s great and a very dear friend. But… well, someone caught my eye a long time ago, and I’m not going to be changing my mind anytime soon.”

She set down her glass, the corners of her mouth downturning and her hand returning to the back of her neck. “Doubtful that they’re so deserving of your patience.”

“She is.” He palpably felt her gaze meet his. All the air in the cabin suddenly vanished. “You are,” he added, needing her to understand him without pretense.

But she shied away, looking away and pulling back. “Garrus,” she sighed.

“Shepard.” He leaned forward, taking her hand in his and claiming her attention. “If you… regret Omega-4 or--or you… changed your mind, tell me now, and I will never mention this again for the rest of my life, I promise.” Every heartbeat thudded in his ears as he waited for her to confirm his deepest fears. But a minute passed, and she was silent. Relief swept through his person, making his head swim slightly. “But if it’s just… bad timing…”

“Of course it’s bad timing.” She pulled away, running both hands through her hair now. He let himself remember how silky it felt between his fingers, how it shimmered in the light from the fish tank, how she smiled at his fascination. “My whole life is bad timing.”

“I think there are many in this galaxy who would disagree,” he replied, scooting a little closer to her.

“My timing with… with the important stuff then. The things that matter just to _me_.” She dropped back against the couch, frowning deeply. “Can’t ever seem to make those line up--born under some bad stars, I guess.” 

“Turians don’t really believe in fate.”

“Yeah, I didn’t think I did either.” _Till I met you_ , her eyes finished when she looked his way. 

“Maybe I can change your mind then,” he said, leaning towards her and tipping his subvocals into flirtatious octaves. He was mostly seeking to snap her out of this downward spiral she’d found herself in. And she did, a smirk lifting a corner of her mouth for a moment, but she still looked away with a slight shake of her head.

“You deserve more than just a few hours before the end, Garrus.” 

“I’ll take what I can get,” he replied, scooting close enough to press his side against hers and gently take her hand again.

She didn’t move away, but she shook her head more this time. “You deserve more than me--”

“Shepard,” he cut her off before she could finish that ridiculous insult of a sentence. 

But she pressed on. “I’m sorry that I held back, I am. But I--”

“ _Jane_.” The name no one ever called her anymore finally stopped her. He cupped her cheek, thumb stroking softly over her freckles as he studied her face for a moment. “I understood--I understand,” he assured her. “It’s ruthless calculus, but you’re not deciding between strangers, you’re deciding which of your friends to bring with you on life-threatening missions. And you have to make that decision possible for yourself. I get it, I do.”

“There’s that, yes. But…” Whether it was the shadowy lighting in the cabin, or perhaps how closely he was seeing her, but she’d never looked so exhausted as she did right then--stretched impossibly wide and given the weight of the galaxy to bear. A thin hum of worry eked from his subvocals. “It’s no secret how much of this war is counting directly on me. And I knew that at the end of the day, I’d have nothing left in me to give you. You deserved more, you deserved better… You still do.”

“Jane…” Her name came out soft, caressing and pleading all at once. He dipped his head to press his brow against hers. “ _You_ are what I want… for everything that you are and everything that you aren’t. I just want you. No more, no less.” Her eyes went wide then all at once she collapsed into him. He pulled her onto his lap, into his arms. Her face tucked against his neck and arms wound around his carapace. A deep part of him unclenched to _finally_ be holding her again. It had been far too long.

For a long while, they were quiet. Garrus combed his fingers through her hair and savored just how _right_ it felt to be with her like this. There were few things in the galaxy that felt as right as this did, despite their differences. 

“I want you too,” she whispered before lifting her head to meet his gaze. She still looked tired, but there was a peace in her eyes that wasn’t there before. “I’ve wanted you so for long.”

“I’m right here. Always have been, always will.”

Her fingertips traced over the broken colony markings on his scarred mandible as she nodded slowly. “Is it too soon to say ‘I love you’?”

The galaxy completely unraveled and then re-wove itself in the two seconds following her question. He’d never dared… well, his heart was always a bit too headstrong to be fully curbed when it came to Shepard, but this was certainly far beyond his expectations for the evening. Wasn’t that always the way with her?

Breathless and more than just stunned, he shook his head.

She smiled softly. “I love you, Garrus Vakarian. Have for a very long time.”

Despite the fact that he was sitting down with Shepard straddling him, Garrus suddenly felt as if he may very well float away. He pulled her closer and pressed his brow to hers again. “ _Jane_ ,” he barely managed to say around his subvocals resounding his return of her feelings. If he loved her less, he might be able to say it better.

She laughed slightly, a hand cupping the back of his head. “I know. It’s okay. You don’t--”

However, he shook his head and sat back. She deserved to hear it in a way she could understand. “I love you too,” he said, breathless with joy. “So much.”

She closed the distance to kiss him, exuberantly and pressing so close she could slip under his carapace. It was every bit as perfect as he’d remembered even though it was cut short as they both couldn’t stop smiling. 

“I didn’t think I’d get this far tonight,” he admitted, still grinning. Perhaps he’d never stop.

She laughed and then kissed him tenderly. “Well, we do need to make up for lost time.”

“We have plenty of time still ahead of us.”

Hope bloomed in her eyes. “Are you sure?”

“As sure as the stars.”


End file.
